team4-4.1GP+rough+draft

=Team 4 Rough Draft= Kelly, Laura, (Sara)...Introduction It is the fall of 2008, Megan is about to start her freshman year at Millersville University and is feeling nervous and excitted all at once. None of her high school friends back in Indiana, where she is from, are attending the same University. She arrives on campus and reports directly to her dorm room anxiously awaiting her roommate. Her roommate arrives and needless to say is not the perfect match for her, different styles, different ideas, and different interests. All she can think of is how this was her shot to make at least one friend here off the bat and it was a failure. She felt all alone and depressed, she wasn't very good at social situations and meeting new people. Megan remembered an ad she saw while using the internet about an online dating website where she can meet local singles in her area. She thought she would give this a try, at least she can better match up with those who share the same interests. This is an all to common situation. Many singles are finding new ways to meet individuals that they never may have had the chance to meet. This is the new dating scene of the 21st century, in a world of ever evolving technology. With our hectic lives and strict budgets, the internet allows singles to get out there and meet new people without spending money on drinks, cover charges, and cabs. Not only is this more cost effective but it allows people to get to know each other first and then chose whether or not to even meet this person. Using an online dating service helps you narrow down your search to others who share the same ideas and interests, all in the comfort of your own home. There are some out there that prefer the traditional bar scene or set up from their friends. This is mostly out of fear of the unknown or out of embarrassment of having to tell family and friends that they met the love of their life on a dating website. With the millions already joining in this new craze, it is no longer something to be embarrassed about. -liz's re: personality of onliners When one thinks of internet dating websites, and the people that use them a certain set of images come to mind. A darkened room, lit only by the blue light of a computer screen, a lonely person hunched over the keyboard, and a pile of takeout food boxes nearby. This image is a common one, and at one time may have actually been perceived as a negative thing, but these days online dating has lost it's stigma for a number of reasons. There are more single people in the United States, and all over the world, than ever before. Young people wait longer to get married than they did a generation ago, and many college graduates will admit upon graduation that they are not really concerned with settling down. They see marriage as something that can wait until they establish their own career. There are also a number of divorced singles who may have married in their twenties and then found themselves single in their thirties or forties. Divorced singles are believed to account for "31% of online daters" (Brymer et al., 13). Many singles also work long hours, as it has become quite common for professional adults to work upwards of fifty hours per week. When we spend that much time at work, it is hard to find time to meet other singles. Meeting people online is not only convenient, but with wireless internet available almost everywhere it is also portable. In the age of litigiousness, sexual harassment has become a major workplace issue, so employers in general discourage workplace romances. Taking your laptop around the corner to have lunch is a more acceptable way to look for dates, and you eliminate the risk of any employment or legal issues. Aside from the practical reasons for people to try online dating, there are some surprising personality traits that come into play. For instance, the vast majority of online daters are educated and would consider themselves professionals in their field. In fact, online daters are "more likely to be employed than internet users who do not use online dating services" (Brymer et al., 13). Online daters are also sociable people. They report normal family backgrounds and social networks. They view themselves as "confident, and the believe others see them the same way" (Brymer et al, 17). Many online daters enlist the help of a friend to design their profile. In a way this creates it's own social activity, almost taking the place of the neighborhood watering hole as a place to pick up members of the opposite (or the same) sex. Profiles become "works in progress, continually edited and tweaked with newer more flattering pictures" (Egan, 2). Obviously, the people that spend time creating these detailed profiles are not trying to avoid social interaction, they welcome it. Another reason for the worldwide increase in online dating is the ability to meet and attract people that would otherwise be out of reach, perhaps even on the other side of the world. A number of specific religious and even ethnic sites have sprung up in the last few years. According to executives with Match.com, "love isn't the same in every language - not even close" (Masters, 1). Match, and other companies have begun offering culturally sensitive online dating options. BharatMatrimony.com, and Indian matchmaking site, had over ten million members as of January 2008, and is "celebrated as the most trusted matrimony brand combining tradition and technology" (BharatMatrimony, 2008). Based on the number of participants, it appears that the concept of finding a mate online is more palatable to many singles than blind dates, and the idea of finding true love seems to outweigh any perceived negatives.

Caitlin's part People wait their whole lives to find that one person that completes them. Success is often defined stereotypically as finding someone you love and starting a family. Knowing that someone loves you is truly euphoric. Most of the popular movies that come out are about finding true love. These movies make it seem so easy for people to fall head over heels in love. Being involved in a healthy relationship can change a person’s life. People gain confidence, become healthier, and feel happier. However, if the relationship becomes sour or unhealthy, it can have the opposite effect on our lives and our health. On Yahoo! users were asked what were the positive and negatives of being in a relationship. The answers received were generic. One responder said that the positive to being in a relationship is having someone care about you more than anything and having someone be there for them no matter the situation. Most importantly they said the chance of love. The negative was that one risks fighting, jealousy, and spending more money than they would if they were single. Still, the benefits outweigh the misfortunes of being in a relationship. People say that marriage is challenging and stressful but they also say that they enjoy being committed to one person for the rest of their lives. People in happy, loving relationships have been known to live longer than those who are single. If someone gets involved in a good, healthy relationship it can improve "your life expectancy, protect your brain and more" (Stibich). If a relationship does not work out it can put a lot of strain on one’s heart. When marriages fail, couples going through a divorce face an extremely stressful period in their lives. Researchers have stated that people who have a higher number of negative aspects to their relationships have a thirty-four percent increased chance of having heart problems (Stibich).

Being in a relationship does not just effect people's health; relationships have been known to affect academic performance, and as Kopfler says "While involved in a relationship during college, one might be forced to choose either studying for school or spending time with the significant other, leaving the student with increased amounts of stress." Stress added on top of school work is disasterous. What really affects performance is the level of commitment the couple has to the relationship. One study surveyed one hundred and nine married men and women, forty-seven single men, and fifty-five single women to see if undergraduate married students’ grades differ from single students. The results showed that married couples had received higher G.PA.’s because they shared “a goal minded approach to academics.” Students trying to maintain romantic relationships tend to feel more responsibility than those who are not. They feel that they have to think of the other person when making decisions which could distract them from focusing on their education (Kopfler). When people come out of an abusive relationship, they tend to have trust and intimacy issues. In good relationships, people become friendlier and more social. In a study conducted by Kopfler and associates, one hundred percent out of fifty male students polled stated there were benefits to dating in college. They results indicated that when the male students dated their self-esteem was higher in social settings.

Krystal's process

There are many different reasons a person may decide to place an ad on the internet to meet someone, such as being new to a community or possibly a not being able to approach others in public. With the internet becoming easier to use as the years pass, a personal ad on the internet can take as little as five minutes and an email address to post, however it depends on the site one may chose whether it will cost money or not. One of the simplest free sites to use is Craigslist. When you first log on, it asks the user to choose their location, usually by state, and then prompts one to pick from a list of different large cities around the particular state depending on where the person is located. When everything is chosen, there is a link to all different personals people have posted. The user can either chose to look through ones others have posted and reply in hopes of meeting a person, or they can take a more direct route and post an ad themselves. The user would click post an ad, put a little information about themselves, possibly add a picture if they felt comfortable enough, and provide an email address where the replies to the ad will go. Craigslist provides full security when doing this. If someone replies to an ad that was posted, it goes indirectly to a computer generated email address, then Craigslist passes it on to them email address provided by the poster. If the person decides to reply to a response they received from the ad they posted, their email address is then given to the other party. As far a connection between two people, that depends on how far the emails eventually go. Another popular site for single adults to use is singles.net. From looking at the number of people who have joined from my area alone, it seems to be more popular among people looking to meet others. Unlike Craigslist, this site goes into more depth of a person right when they are signing up. After a user searches other singles around the area, they can choose to sign up. It’s again as simple as providing an email address and your name, however, it asks a few questions further to truly try and match someone with someone who may be perfect for them. It asks the user their date of birth to determine age, and some activities they may like to do. These actives include outdoor activities such as camping, hiking, and canoeing, to asking questions about whether or not the user likes to work out or not. Once all the questions are filled out, the user can choose to browse their computer for a picture to post on their profile, but it's not required to use the site. After all that is done, the account is activated and a profile is put up for others to see. Immediately, singles.net searches other profiles that seem to match the interests the user posted, and emails the potential matches to the user who signed up. They can then reply, or search other profiles that have interests that they are looking for in a significant other. They can email a little about themselves, or just send flirt messages, which can say anything from 'I want to get to know you,' to 'You're cute.' As on Craigslist, it becomes the user’s choice whether or not they decide to contact each other further. They could possibly exchange phone numbers or email addresses to get to know each other a little more. No matter which site someone decides to use to look for someone, there are always multiple risks they are taking.



Laura's Negatives

At first online dating may seem like a cool, fun way to meet people you wouldn't originally meet "on-the-town". There are many negative involved with online dating. Some of these negatives involved would be finding people who misrepresent themselves, and the finances involved along with a few other negatives. A big negative involved with the world of online dating is having dishonest people. On online dating sites anyone can post just about anything about themselves. If it was desired, someone could create a whole new person on the internet. People misrepresent themselves by lying about their age. Most of the time people claim that they're younger than what they really are. Dating sites also allow individuals to upload pictures of themselves online. Not everybody, however, puts pictures of who they really are though. Just look online and there are many online dating horror stories about people saying they are someone they're not online. For example, a man using match.com lured three women to his apartment and raped them, all on different accounts. He claimed that he was a doctor, and involved with the C.I.A (www.crime.about.com 1). Also, sometimes, when it comes to meeting a person, the other doesn't even show, or in one case, they got out of the vehicle, looked at the other from twenty yards away, and then left (www.sfgate.com 1). Online dating can be intimidating, however, people should just be theirself. Another negative of online dating would be the money that is involved. Some sites may be free, however, usually the good, serious websites are not. The websites range from nothing a month to fifty dollars a month. A popular website for online dating is eharmony.com. At this site, those who sign up get a free "personality profile". However, if the individual wants more, and usually they do, they can subscribe for $19.95 for twelve months, during a "special period". Other than that it can cost approximately $50.00 according to consumersearch.com. However, during the special it would include receiving compatible matches, share photos, and communication using their tools. So, at this site people really don't get much. According to consumersearch.com, match.com got the best review overall. People can register for free and then subscribe to communicate with others through email. Comsumersearch.com says that for match.com it is about thirty-five dollars a month for six months. So, that would be $210.00 a year. That is also just for communication. The financial aspect of online dating can become expensive. The amounts really add up. Another negative of online dating is the feeling that goes along with it, of telling other how they met. Some couples have no problem telling their peers that they met on the internet, however other couples find it embarrassing to admit that's how they found their significant other. In an interview with American Idol's Ryan Seacrest, Miley Cyrus stated that, "I'm not that desperate yet." (www.people.com). Online dating may been seen as a desperate measure, for someone that can't seem to find anyone the traditional way, meeting people that friends know, or in bars, public places. There is a stigma that goes along with the choice of online dating. One person who wrote for advice on Salon.com said that "....and I think part of me feels like my decision to use an online dating service was like admitting that I'm unable to meet men on my own, that I need some kind of remedial help." It seems that many people who choose to meet someone through online dating services feel uncomfortable when telling other's how they met. Although there are some people who still feel embarrassed to tell their friends and family how they met their significant other, the changing tide of popular culture is making it much more acceptable to have met online. In NBC's ER episode 1508, "Age of Innocence," a young woman was brought into the emergency room on a stretcher. She had been hit by a car and while the emergency team was transferring her from the ambulance stretcher to the trauma room’s table she tells the team that she was on her way to a date with a man she had met on Facebook. Before she becomes unconscious she jokes, “Ooh, if I die the day I’m supposed to meet my husband…” It is this kind of referral in popular culture that is helping to reduce any stigma attached to online dating. There are many negatives associated with online dating, there is the amount of money it can cost, people who misrepresent themselves, and the stigma that goes along with telling others how they met.

Kelly's negative The most televised horror story is that of a 33 year old nursing student from Philadelphia. This man used match.com to present himself with several different idenities all which he was able to produce id's supporting which ever character he had decided to present that evening. He would arrange meetings with women in upscale bars and resturants. These women claimed he was a very nice and confident person. He was well dressed and presented himself as a real gentleman. One thing that these women were all able to recall is that they seemed to get abnormally intoxicated after returning from the bathroom or letting this man buy them a drink. One woman stated that she woke up and it was if she was paralyzed, that her "body was there, but couldn't see what was going on to it." Not being able to see one's own body must be a scary feeling because they know that they aren't supposed to be there. It's not a good situation. Some accounted that they would wake up naked or during sex. This man was finally arrested and was charged with the rape of eight Pennsylvania women. He is being held without bond. ( crime.about.com ) Not all bad online dates end with such a horrific nightmare. In one case for example a woman agreed to meet with a man she had been exchanging emails with for some time at a resturant. She stated that as soon as the man sat down, before the waitress even came over for drink orders, The man stared at her from across the table and blurted out " Let's just get right to the point, what's wrong with you?" Another online dater states he had been speaking with a female on the phone for about a month when they finally agreed to meet at a bar. Her picture and profile indicated a 5'7 125lb blonde, who loved the outdoors and biking. He was excited to meet her. He stated when she saw him and sat down she had long brown roots, and had to weigh atleast 300lbs. She told him that was a picture of her from a couple of years ago. There are so many stories like these latter ones. People misrepresenting themselves is the most common problem with online dating. ( abcnews.com ) One individual gave some good advice to online daters. When arranging to meet someone you've met online either bring someone with you or always let someone know where you are going to be at all times and give a number you can be reached. There is always risk involved with dating. Woman have just as much risk involved of getting raped when meeting someone in a bar as they do meeting someone online.

Sara's Positives In the early 1990’s it wasn’t as common to have an internet presence as it is today. Melody, a native Texan was encouraged and teased by her friends until she finally relented and bought a computer. In her thirties and still single, she had tried to find companionship within the members at her church, and even though it was a good sized church, most of the singles were also women around the same age as Melody. She realized that she wasn’t going to meet anyone at the school where she taught seventh and eighth grades and so she decided to look online for friendship, she says to help, “speed up the process.” She met Mike from Pennsylvania in a Christian chat room on AOL and they chatted off and on for nearly two years. Melody had some friends in PA and when she mentioned to Mike that they ought to meet when she was up to visit; he said no, giving the excuse that he had to work. “That’s when I knew he was the real deal,” Melody says. “Most of the scary stories you hear, they want to meet right away. When he didn’t want to meet, I knew he was ok.” Finally when she was in the area again, he agreed to meet her. Soon after she moved to PA and they began to seriously date. Mike says, “She got a hold of my arm and never let go.” They married eight years ago, in September of 2000. For Melody, however, there seemed to be a stigma attached to the way she and Mike had met and she wouldn’t initially tell anyone who would ask. She would brush off their inquiries but on the other hand she said, “Other than bar hopping, where do you meet people?” Today she is open about the way they were introduced. “It seems like the stigma is gone.” Christine, a single woman in her mid-thirties, had been set up on dates by her friends with disastrous results. She tried meeting people in her young adults group at church but wasn’t having much luck. Then one day she saw an advertisement in the newspaper for a Christian friendship and dating service and she went online to check it out. She filled out the profile information but when she saw the cost, she changed her mind. However the service continued to contact her via email, each time lowering the price until finally she signed up. The service put her name and contact information on a list which was available to other Christian singles who had signed up for the service. Patrick was a new Christian and was looking for a companion who shared his faith. He spoke to a few women on the phone and even made plans to meet another, but she never showed up. Finally he called Christine and left a message on her machine. When she called him back, they talked for a while and then arranged to meet in a public place. “I had a backup plan,” she said. She made plans to deliver something to a friend of hers after her date with Patrick as a safety net in case she wanted to abandon the date. Her friend told her to use her as an excuse if she needed to get away. She told me to say, “Well, I have to go get this thing to my friend now.” Her friend even suggested if Christine were really nervous, she could excuse herself to the bathroom and call her friend who would immediately come and get her. Fortunately, Christine and Patrick hit it off right away and ended up spending five hours together discussing their common interests. He was funny, and easy to talk to: “He made me laugh,” she said. When she finally made her way to her friend’s house, her friend was, “genuinely worried.” In May of 1999 they married and will soon celebrate ten years of happiness.

Kelly's positive Meeting others of the opposite sex there is always a risk associated with it. Going online to expand your search to others you normally wouldn't meet locally is an up and coming thing in the world of technology. I work with a young woman who in her early 20's didn't have very much success with relationships. After another failure she decided to go ahead and try this online dating. She signed up with match.com due to the fact that it was running a special at the time. I conducted an interview with her and she agreed to allow me to post it for this paper. Interview #1 Q : What site did you use to set-up your profile? A : “ I used Match.com “ Q : What made you decide on that particular site? A : “ To tell you the truth they were having a special, half off the monthly rate for the first 6 months and if you found no one they would give you the next 6 months free. “ Q: So you never did any research on the site you were using, only that it cost less? A : “ No, I actually didn’t think about it. “ Q : What were you feeling as you were setting up your profile? A : “ That I wasn’t going to get any responses. I wasn’t nervous if that was what you were thinking. I didn’t see it any different than if I met someone at a club or something. Just this way I didn’t have to meet him unless I chose to do so.” Q : So have you met anyone worth while? A : (smiling) “ Yes, I did.” Q : Can you tell me about him? A : “ He is a police officer in Reading. We have been dating for about 6 months. It’s different meeting someone online, you get to know them in a different way. We just connected. We are talking about moving in together. My birthday is in Feburary and I think he is going to propose! He took me to look at rings and says he has a big surprise for my birthday." Q : Does it embarrass you at all to tell others where you to met? A : “ No, so many are doing this now people don’t think twice.”

Laura, Kelly, and (Sara)'s Conclusion

Conclusion

So the young, freshman, female, college student found some friendships and met many people in her new environment of college. Trying online dating, she met many people, some good, and some horrible. However, through the world of online dating she met the love of her life, and she is incredibly happy that she tried it. So, even though there are some dishonest people, meeting potential dates online can be a lot of fun because it gives an individual access to people they would never meet in person and many couples have found long-term happiness. It's a different and interesting way to meet people.

I worked on the layout of the paper - moved some things around, made some comments. My edited version of the paper is below. - Sara

It is the fall of 2008; Megan is about to start her freshman year at Millersville University and is feeling nervous and excited all at once. None of her high school friends back in Indiana, where she is from, are attending the same University. She arrives on campus and reports directly to her dorm room, anxiously awaiting her roommate. Her roommate arrives and needless to say is not the perfect match for her: different styles, different ideas, and different interests. All she can think is how this was her shot to make at least one friend here immediately and it was a failure. She feels alone and depressed; she isn't very good at social situations and meeting new people. Megan remembers an ad she saw while using the internet about an online dating website where she can meet local singles in her area. She thinks she would give this a try. At the very least she can try to better match up with someone who shares her same interests.  This is an all too common situation. Many singles are finding new ways to meet different individuals that they may never have had the opportunity to come across. In the new dating scene of the 21st century, there is a world of ever evolving technology. With hectic lives and strict budgets, internet dating allows singles to get out and meet new people without spending money on drinks, cover charges, and cabs. Not only is this more cost efficient, but it allows people to get to know each other first and choose whether or not to try and connect with another person in real life. Using an online dating service helps narrow down a search to others who share the same ideas and interests, all from the comfort of home. There are some who prefer the traditional bar scene or to be set up on dates by their friends. This may be due to the of fear of the unknown or because of the embarrassment of having to tell family and friends how the love of their life was found on a dating website. With the millions of people joining in this new craze, this will no longer be something to be embarrassed about.

When one thinks of internet dating websites and the people that use them, a certain set of images come to mind: a darkened room, lit only by the blue light of a computer screen, a lonely person hunched over the keyboard, and a pile of takeout food boxes nearby. This image is a common one, and at one time may have actually been perceived as being negative, but these days online dating has lost its stigma for a number of reasons.  There are more single people in the United States, and all over the world than ever before. Young people wait longer to get married than they did a generation ago, and many college graduates will admit upon graduation that they are not really concerned with settling down. They see marriage as something that can wait until they establish their career. There are also a number of divorced singles who may have married in their twenties and then found themselves single in their thirties or forties. Divorced singles "compromise 31% of online daters" (Brymer et al., 13).  Many singles also work long hours, as it has become quite common for professional adults to work upwards of fifty hours per week. When people spend that much time at work, it is hard to find time to meet other singles. Meeting people online is not only convenient, but with wifi (does this need defined?)  it is also portable. (I think this sentence needs work- I get the gist but it’s a little awkward) In the age of litigiousness, sexual harassment has become a major social issue, so employers in general discourage workplace romances. Taking a laptop around the corner <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(what corner?) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> at lunch is an acceptable way to look for dates, and it eliminates the risk of any employment or legal issues. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> Aside from the practical reasons for people to try online dating, there are some surprising personality traits that come into play. For instance, the vast majorities of <span style="background: yellow 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">online daters are educated and would consider themselves professionals in their field. In fact, <span style="background: yellow 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">online daters are "more likely to be employed than internet users who do not use online dating services" (Brymer et al., 13). <span style="background: yellow 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">Online daters are also sociable people. They report normal family backgrounds and social networks. They view themselves as "confident, and they believe others see them the same way" (Brymer et al, 17). Many online daters enlist the help of a friend to design their profile. In a way this creates its own social activity, almost taking the place of the neighborhood watering hole as a place to "pick up" members of the opposite (or the same) sex. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(This needs a little re-wording. I thought you were talking about someone helping to design the profile but then you’re talking about “picking up” someone.) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Profiles are "works in progress, continually edited and tweaked with newer more flattering pictures" (Egan, 2). Obviously, the people that spend time creating these detailed profiles are not trying to avoid social interaction, instead they welcome it. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> Another reason for the worldwide increase in online dating is the ability to meet and attract people that would otherwise be out of reach, perhaps even on the other side of the world. A number of specific religious and ethnic sites have sprung up in the last few years. According to executives with Match.com, "love isn't the same in every language - not even close" (Masters, 1). Match and other companies have sprung up all over the globe with culturally sensitive online dating options. BharatMatrimony.com, an Indian matchmaking site, had over ten million members as of January 2008, and is "celebrated as the most trusted matrimony brand combining tradition and technology" (BharatMatrimony, 2008). Based on the number of participants, it appears that the concept of finding a mate online is more palatable to many singles than blind dates, and the idea of finding true love seems to outweigh any perceived negatives. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> Some people wait their whole lives trying to find that one person that completes them. Many stereotypes of having a successful life involve finding someone and starting a family. Knowing that someone loves you is a true euphoria. Many movies are about finding true love. These movies it seem so easy for people to fall head-over-heels in love. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Being in a healthy relationship can change a person’s life. People gain confidence, they become healthier, they are happy. However, if the relationship becomes sour or unhealthy, it can have the opposite effect on lives. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> On Yahoo! some <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(this needs re-worded) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> asked what were the positive and negatives of being in a relationship. The answers she <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(she who?) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> got were generic. One responder said that the positive to being in a relationship is having someone care about more than anything and will be there for them no matter the situation. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(Is this a quote? Also some words are missing) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> Most importantly they said the chance of love. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(fragment) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> The negatives are the risk of fighting, jealousy, and spending more money than their single counterparts. Still, there are a lot more benefits than misfortunes from being in a relationship. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> Married people say that marriage is challenging and stressful, but they also say that they enjoy being committed to one person for the rest of their lives. People in happy, loving relationships have been known to live longer than those who are single. If someone gets involved in a good, healthy relationship “it increases your life expectancy, protects your brain and more” (Stibich). <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> If a relationship does not work out it can put a lot of strain on one’s heart. If marriages fail, couples going through a divorce face an extremely stressful period in their lives. Researchers have stated that people who have more negative aspects in their relationships have a thirty-four percent increased chance of have heart problems (Stibich). <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Being in a relationship does not just effect people’s health; relationships have been known to <span style="background: yellow 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">affect academic performance. “While involved in a relationship during college, one might be forced to choose either studying for school or spending time with the significant other, leaving the student with increased amounts of stress.” What really <span style="background: yellow 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">affects <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(affect or effect?) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> performance is the level of commitment the couple has to the relationship. One study surveyed one hundred and nine married men and women, forty-seven single men, and fifty-five single women to see if undergraduate married students’ grades differ from single students. The results showed that married couples had received higher G.PA.’s because they had “a goal minded approach to academics.” Students trying to maintain romantic relationships tend to feel more responsibility than those who are not. They feel that they have to think of the other person when making decisions which could distract them from focusing on their education (Kopfler). When people come out of an abusive relationship, they tend to have trust and intimacy issues. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(how does the last sentence fit with the rest of the paragraph? Maybe it should be moved to one of the others above?) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> In good relationships, people become friendlier and more social. In a conducted study a hundred percent of fifty male students polled stated there were benefits to dating in college. They showed that when they dated that their self-esteem were higher in social settings (Kopfler).

<span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">There are many different reasons a person may decide to place an ad on the internet to meet someone, such as being new to a community or possibly a not being able to approach others in public. With the internet becoming easier to use as the years pass, a personal ad on the internet can take as little as five minutes (and an email address to post,) (I’m having trouble understanding the phrasing of this part of the sentence) however it depends on the site one may chose whether it will cost money or not. <span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">One of the simplest free sites to use is Craigslist. During the first log-on, it asks the user to choose their location, usually by state, and then prompts a choice from a list of different large cities around the particular state depending on where the person is located. When everything is chosen, there is a link to all different personals other people have posted. The user can either chose to look through posts others have listed and reply in hopes of meeting a person, or they can take a more direct route and post an ad themselves. The user clicks “post an ad,” puts a little information about themselves, possibly adds a picture if they feel comfortable enough, and provides an email address where the replies to the ad will go. Craigslist provides full security during this process. If someone replies to an ad that was posted, it goes indirectly to a computer generated email address, then Craigslist passes it on to the email address provided by the poster. If the person decides to reply to a response they received from the ad they posted, their email address is then given to the other party. As far a connection between two people, that depends on how far the emails eventually go. <span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> Another popular site for single adults to use is singles.net. From looking at the number of people who have joined from Lancaster, PA alone, it seems to be more popular than a newspaper ad or going out and trying to meet someone in person. Unlike Craigslist, this site goes into more depth of a person right when they are signing up. After a user searches other singles around the area, they can choose to sign up. It’s again as simple as providing an email address and name; however, it asks a few questions to further try to truly match someone with another person who may be perfect for them. It asks the user their date of birth to determine age, and some activities they may like to do. These questions include outdoor activities such as camping, hiking, and canoeing, to questions about whether or not the user likes to exercise. Once all the questions are filled out, the user can choose to browse their computer for a picture to post on their profile, but it's not a requirement to use the site. After all that is done, the account is activated and a profile is posted on the website for others to see. Immediately, singles.net searches other profiles that seem to match the interests the user posted, and emails the potential matches to the new user. They can then reply, or search other profiles that have interests that they are looking for in a significant other. They can email a little about themselves, or just send flirt messages, which can say anything from 'I want to get to know you,' to 'You're cute.' As on Craigslist, it becomes the user’s choice whether or not they decide to contact each other further. They could possibly exchange phone numbers or email addresses to get to know each other a little more. No matter which site someone decides to use to look for someone, there are always multiple risks they are taking.

<span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">At first online dating may seem like a cool, fun way to meet people that wouldn't originally be met "on-the-town". There are many negatives involved with online dating. Some of these negatives involved include finding people who misrepresent themselves, and the finances involved with using dating sites, along with a few other negatives. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">A negative of online dating is the cost involved. Some sites may be free; however, usually the good, serious websites are not. Some websites, overall, cost nothing a month to fifty dollars a month. A popular website for online dating is eharmony.com. At this site, a person who signs up gets a free "personality profile". However, if the individual wants more, and usually they do, they can subscribe for $19.95 for twelve months, during a "special period". Other than that promotion, it can cost approximately $50.00 according to consumersearch.com. However, during the special, the fee includes receiving compatible matches, sharing photos, and communication using eharmony.com’s tools. It is arguable that at this site, for the amount of money spent, one really doesn't get much. According to consumersearch.com, match.com got the best review <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(from whom? And for what?) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> over all. One can register for free and then subscribe to communicate with others through email. Comsumersearch.com says that for match.com it is about thirty-five dollars a month for six months, or $210.00 a year, just for communication. The financial aspect of online dating can become expensive. The amounts really add up. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Another big negative in the world of online dating is dishonest people. On online dating sites anyone can post just about anything about themselves. If it was desired, someone could create a whole new person on the internet. People misrepresent themselves by lying about their age; most of the time claiming they're younger than their actual age. Dating sites also allow individuals to upload pictures of themselves online. However, not everyone uses real pictures of themselves. One online dater states he had been speaking with a female on the phone for about a month when they finally agreed to meet at a bar. Her picture and profile indicated a five foot, seven inch, one hundred twenty-five pound blonde, who loved the outdoors and biking. He was excited to meet her. He stated when she saw him and sat down, she had long brown roots, and had to weigh at least three hundred pounds. She told him the picture on her profile was a picture of her from a couple of years ago. There are so many stories like these latter ones. People misrepresenting themselves are the most common problem with online dating. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Just look <span style="background: yellow 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">online and there are many <span style="background: yellow 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">online dating horror stories about people saying they are someone they're not <span style="background: yellow 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">online. For example, a man using match.com lured three women to his apartment and raped them, all on different match.com personal accounts. He claimed that he was a doctor, and involved with the C.I.A (www.crime.about.com 1). <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(this paragraph needs more info, I think) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">The most televised horror story is that of a 33 year old nursing student from Philadelphia. A man used match.com to present himself with several different identities all for which he was able to produce identifications supporting which ever character he had decided to present that evening. He would arrange meetings with woman in upscale bars and restaurants. The woman claimed he was a very nice and confident person. He was well dressed and presented himself as a real gentleman. One common thing that these women were all able to recall is that they seemed to get abnormally intoxicated after returning to from the bathroom or after letting this man buy a drink. One woman stated that she woke up and it was if she was paralyzed, that her "body was there but couldn't see what was going on to it." Some accounted that they would wake up naked or during sex. This man was finally arrested and was charged with the rape of eight Pennsylvania women. He is being held without bond. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Not all bad online dates end with such a horrific nightmare. In one case for example a woman agreed to meet with a man she had been exchanging emails for some time at a restaurant. She stated that as soon as the man sat down, before the waitress even came over for drink orders, the man looked at her and said "Let's just get right to the point, what's wrong with you?" Also, sometimes, when it comes to meeting a person in real life, the other doesn't even show, or in one case, they got out of the vehicle, looked at their potential date from twenty yards away, and then left (www.sfgate.com 1). Online dating can be intimidating; however, to be successful, one should just be oneself. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> One individual gave some good advice to online daters. When arranging to meet someone you've met online either bring someone with you or always let someone know where you are going to be at all times and give a number you can be reached. There is always risk involved with dating. Women run just as much risk in being raped when meeting someone in a bar as they do when meeting someone online. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> However, there are many happily-ever-after stories that can make the negatives of online dating all worthwhile. In the early 1990’s it wasn’t as common to have an internet presence as it is today. Melody, a native Texan was encouraged and teased by her friends until she finally relented and bought a computer. In her thirties and still single, she had tried to find companionship within the members at her church, and even though it was a good sized church, most of the singles were also women around the same age as Melody. She realized that she wasn’t going to meet anyone at the school where she taught seventh and eighth grades and so she decided to look online for friendship, she says to help, “speed up the process.” She met Mike from Pennsylvania in a Christian chat room on AOL <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(does this need to be spelled out?) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> and they chatted off and on for nearly two years. Melody had some friends in PA and when she mentioned to Mike that they ought to meet when she was up to visit; he said no, giving the excuse that he had to work. “That’s when I knew he was the real deal,” Melody says. “Most of the scary stories you hear, they want to meet right away. When he didn’t want to meet, I knew he was ok.” Finally when she was in the area again, he agreed to meet her. Soon after she moved to PA, they began to seriously date. Mike says, “She got a hold of my arm and never let go.” They married eight years ago, in September of 2000. For Melody, however, there seemed to be a stigma attached to the way she and Mike had met and she wouldn’t initially tell anyone who would ask. She would brush off their inquiries but on the other hand she said, “Other than bar hopping, where do you meet people?” Today she is open about the way they were introduced. “It seems like the stigma is gone.” <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Another single woman in her mid-thirties, Christine, had been set up on dates by her friends with disastrous results. She tried meeting people in her young adults group at church but wasn’t having much luck. Then one day she saw an advertisement in the newspaper for a Christian friendship and dating service and she went online to check it out. She filled out the profile information but when she saw the cost, she changed her mind. However the service continued to contact her via email, each time lowering the price until finally she signed up. The service put her name and contact information on a list which was available to other Christian singles who had signed up for the service. Patrick was a new Christian, and he was looking for a companion who shared his faith and so he also decided to give online dating a try. He spoke to a few women on the phone and even made plans to meet another, but she never showed up. Finally, he called Christine and left a message on her machine. When she called him back, they talked for a while and then arranged to meet in a public place. “I had a backup plan,” she said. She planned to deliver something to a friend after her date with Patrick. It was a safety net, and excuse to use, in case she wanted to abandon the date. Her friend told Christine to say, “Well, I have to go get this thing to my friend now.” Her friend even suggested if Christine were really nervous, she could excuse herself to the bathroom and call her friend would immediately come and get her. Fortunately, Christine and Patrick hit it off right away and ended up spending five hours together discussing their common interests. He was funny, and easy to talk to: “He made me laugh,” she said. When she finally made her way to her friend’s house, Christine laughingly said her friend was, “genuinely worried.” In May of 1999 they married and will soon celebrate ten years of happiness. <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">(Kelly, I think you should try to write this up as a mini-story to make it flow. Also, although I know you did the interview in first person, try not to use informal language since the rest of us are more formal in the way we wrote.) <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Meeting others of the opposite sex there is always a risk associated with it. Going online to expand your search to others you normally wouldn't meet locally is an up and coming thing in the world of technology. I work with a young woman who in her early 20's didn't have very much success with relationships. After another failure she decided to go ahead and try this online dating. She signed up with match.com due to the fact that it was running a special at the time. I conducted an interview with her and she agreed to allow me to post it for this paper. Interview #1 Q : What site did you use to set-up your profile? A : “ I used Match.com “ Q : What made you decide on that particular site? A : “ To tell you the truth they were having a special, half off the monthly rate for the first 6 months and if you found no one they would give you the next 6 months free. “ Q: So you never did any research on the site you were using, only that it cost less? A : “ No, I actually didn’t think about it. “ Q : What were you feeling as you were setting up your profile? A : “ That I wasn’t going to get any responses. I wasn’t nervous if that was what you were thinking. I didn’t see it any different than if I met someone at a club or something. Just this way I didn’t have to meet him unless I chose to do so.” Q : So have you met anyone worth while? A : (smiling) “ Yes, I did.” Q : Can you tell me about him? A : “ He is a police officer in Reading. We have been dating for about 6 months. It’s different meeting someone online, you get to know them in a different way. We just connected. We are talking about moving in together. My birthday is in Feburary and I think he is going to propose! He took me to look at rings and says he has a big surprise for my birthday." Q : Does it embarrass you at all to tell others where you to met? A : “ No, so many are doing this now people don’t think twice.”

<span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">After trying online dating, the young freshman college student met many people, some good, and some horrible. She found some friendships and met many people in her new environment at college. However, through the world of online dating she met the love of her life, and she is incredibly happy that she tried it. So, even though there are some dishonest people, and the cost of some online dating sites can be prohibitive, meeting potential dates online can be a lot of fun because it gives one access to people one would never meet in person and many couples have found long-term happiness and there are many health benefits to being in a loving, caring relationship. Online dating is a different and interesting way to meet people.

Peer Review Questions Game On's feedback for Chick Click's 4.1GP:


 * What is the thesis? Jason <span style="color: rgb(253,38,38);">Online dating services are easy and fun, but at the same time are also cost efficient and more likely to find you a perfect match compared to the old dating tactics.


 * How is the essay organized? Josh <span style="color: rgb(253,43,43);">The essay begins by introducing a female college student, using her as an example of how people come to look to the Internet to find other singles. The body of the paper consists for an analysis of various pros and cons to the online dating world. The last point made is from an interview with a woman that found a partner online conducted for the paper, giving insight into the results. Finally the paper concludes with a positive assessment, with a caveat to some of the cons involved.


 * Was the organization logical? Was this the best way the writer could present their information? Mike


 * Were any parts not relevant to the thesis? Matt <span style="color: rgb(250,30,30);">The whole paper sticks the idea of online dating dealing with the positives and negatives and even gives an example interview. There wasn't any irrelevant information in the paper.

<span style="color: rgb(255,6,0);">The stories about real life people and their own experiences adds to the validity of this paper. I believe these stories help the reader feel engaged while reading the paper. <span style="color: rgb(255,0,3);">The horror story from Philadelphia could use a citation to provide evidence. Also, when talking about specific people it's hard to tell whether their being used as illustrative examples or if they are actual people.
 * What examples and types of evidence were most convincing? Did the essay engage your emotions and appeal to your experiences in appropriate ways? Ryan
 * What two places could use more development? Which places in the text need more evidence, examples, explanation. Ryan
 * Did the introduction catch your attention? <span style="color: rgb(253,18,18); line-height: 200%; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Jason Yes, I was able to relate to the college experience of meeting roommates for the first time and how the dating/friend finder solution would work in these situations.

It is the fall of 2008<span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">, and (the guy said that the comma wasn’t necessary unless used with a conjunction) Megan is about to start her freshman year at Millersville University and is feeling nervous and <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">excited all at once. None of her high school friends back in Indiana, where she is from, are attending the same University. She arrives on campus and reports directly to her dorm room anxiously awaiting her roommate. <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">Her roommate arrives and, needless to say, is not the perfect match for her, different styles, different ideas, and different interests (for this sentence he said to remove the comma that is between her and different styles but it doesn’t make sense). All she can think of is how this was her shot to make at least one friend here off the bat and it was a failure. She felt all alone and depressed she wasn't very good at social situations and meeting new people. Megan remembered an ad she saw while using the internet about an online dating website where she can meet local singles in her area. She thought she would give this a try at least she can better match up with those who share the same interests.

This is an all too common situation. Many singles are finding new ways to meet individuals that they never may have had the chance to meet. This is the new dating scene of the 21st century, in a world of ever evolving technology. With our hectic lives and strict budgets, the internet allows singles to get out there and meet new people without spending money on drinks, cover charges, and cabs. Not only is this more cost effective but it allows people to get to know each other first and then <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">choose whether or not to even meet this person. Using an online dating service helps you narrow down your search to others who share the same ideas and interests, all in the comfort of your own home. There are some out there that prefer the traditional bar scene or set up from their friends. This is mostly out of fear of the unknown or out of embarrassment of having to tell family and friends that they met the love of their life on a dating website. With the millions already joining in this new craze, it is no longer something to be embarrassed about.

When one thinks of internet dating websites, and the people that use them a certain set of images come to mind. A darkened room, lit only by the blue light of a computer screen, a lonely person hunched over the keyboard, and a pile of takeout food boxes nearby. This image is a common one, and at one time may have actually been perceived as a negative thing, but these days online dating has lost <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">its stigma for a number of reasons.

There are more single people in the United States, and all over the world, than ever before. Young people wait longer to get married than they did a generation ago, and many college graduates will admit upon graduation that they are not really concerned with settling down. They see marriage as something <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">they can wait <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">for until they establish their own career. There are also a number of divorced singles who may have married in their twenties and then found themselves single in their thirties or forties. Divorced singles are believed to account for "31% of online daters" (Brymer et al., 13).

Many singles also work long hours, as it has become quite common for professional adults to work upwards of fifty hours per week. When we spend that much time at work, it is hard to find time to meet other singles. Meeting people online is not only convenient, but with wireless internet available almost everywhere it is also portable. In the age of <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">litigiousness (he was confused with his word. He suggested to either explain it or choose a simpler term), sexual harassment has become a major workplace issue, so employers in general discourage workplace romances. Taking your laptop around the corner to have lunch is a more acceptable way to look for dates, and you eliminate the risk of any employment or legal issues.

Aside from the practical reasons for people to try online dating, there are some surprising personality traits that come into play. For instance, the vast majority of online daters are educated and would consider themselves professionals in their field. In fact, online daters are "more likely to be employed than internet users who do not use online dating services" (Brymer et al., 13). Online daters are also sociable people. They report normal family backgrounds and social networks. They view themselves as "confident, and <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">they believe others see them the same way" (Brymer et al, 17). Many online daters enlist the help of a friend to design their profile. In a way this creates <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">its own social activity, almost taking the place of the neighborhood watering hole as a place to pick up members of the opposite (or the same) sex. Profiles become "works in progress, continually edited and tweaked with newer more flattering pictures" (Egan, 2). Obviously, the people that spend time creating these detailed profiles are not trying to avoid social interaction<span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">; they welcome it.

Another reason for the worldwide increase in online dating is the ability to meet and attract people that would otherwise be out of reach, perhaps even on the other side of the world. A number of specific religious and even ethnic sites have sprung up in the last few years. According to executives with Match.com, "love isn't the same in every language - not even close" (Masters, 1). Match, and other companies have begun offering culturally sensitive online dating options. BharatMatrimony.com, <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">an Indian matchmaking site, had over ten million members as of January 2008, and is "celebrated as the most trusted matrimony brand combining tradition and technology" (BharatMatrimony, 2008). Based on the number of participants, it appears that the concept of finding a mate online is more palatable to many singles than blind dates, and the idea of finding true love seems to outweigh any perceived negatives.

People wait their whole lives trying to find that one person that completes them. Many stereotypes of having a successful <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">life is finding someone and starting a family. Knowing that someone loves you is a true euphoria. Most movies that come out are about finding true love. They make it seem so easy for people to fall head over heels in love. Being in a healthy relationship can change a person’s life. People gain confidence, they become healthier, they are happy. However, if the relationship becomes sour or unhealthy, it can have the opposite effect on lives.

On Yahoo! some asked what were the <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">positives and negatives of being in a relationship. The answers she got were generic. The responder said that <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">a positive to being in a relationship is having someone care about <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">you more than anything and will be there for them no matter the situation. Most importantly they said the chance of love. <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">A negative was that you would risk fighting, jealousy, and spending <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">more money than they would if they were single. Still, there is a lot more benefits and misfortunes from being in a relationship.

People say that marriage is challenging and stressful but they also say that they enjoy being committed to one person for the rest of their lives. People in happy, loving relationships have been known to live longer than those who are single. If someone gets involved in a good, healthy relationship “it increases your life expectancy, protects your brain and more” (Stibich).

If a relationship does not work out it can put a lot of strain on one’s heart. If marriages fail, couples going through a divorce face an extremely stressful period in their lives. Researchers have stated that people who have more negative aspects in their relationships have a thirty-four percent increased chance of <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">having heart problems (Stibich). <span style="color: rgb(0,176,80);"> Being in a relationship does not just effect people’s health; relationships have been known to affect academic performance. “While involved in a relationship during college, one might be forced to choose either studying for school or spending time with the significant other, leaving the student with increased amounts of stress.” What really affects performance is the level of commitment the couple has to the relationship. One study surveyed <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">one hundred and nine married men and women, forty-seven single men, <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">and five-five single women to see if undergraduate married students’ grades differ from single students. The results showed that married couples had received higher G.PA.’s because they had “a goal minded approach to academics.” Students trying to maintain romantic relationships tend to feel more responsibility than those who are not. They feel that they have to think of the other person when making decisions which could distract them from focusing on their education (Kopfler).

When people come out of an abusive relationship, they tend to have trust and intimacy issues.

In good relationships, people become friendlier and more social. In a conducted study a hundred percent of fifty male students polled stated there were benefits to dating in college. They showed that when they dated that their self-esteem were higher in social settings (Kopfler).

There are many different reasons a person may decide to place an ad on the internet to meet someone, such as being new to a community or possibly not being able to approach others in public. With the internet becoming easier to use as the years pass, a personal ad on the internet can take as little as five minutes and an email address to post, however it depends on the site one may chose whether it will cost money or not. One of the simplest free sites to use is Craigslist. When you first log on, it asks the user to choose their location, usually by state, and then prompts one to pick from a list of different large cities around the particular state depending on where the person is located. When everything is chosen, there is a link to all different personals people have posted. The user can either <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">choose to look through ones others have posted and reply in hopes of meeting a person, or they can take a more direct route and post an ad themselves. The user would click post an ad, put a little information about themselves, possibly add a picture if they felt comfortable enough, and provide an email address where the replies to the ad will go. Craigslist provides full security when doing this. If someone replies to an ad that was posted, it goes indirectly to a computer generated email address, <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">and then Craigslist passes it on to <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">the email address provided by the poster. If the person decides to reply to a response they received from the ad they posted, their email address is then given to the other party. As far a connection between two people, that depends on how far the emails eventually go.

Another popular site for single adults to use is singles.net. From looking at the number of people who have joined from my area alone, it seems to be more popular among people looking to meet others. Unlike Craigslist, this site goes into more depth of a person right when they are signing up. After a user searches other singles around the area, they can choose to sign up. It’s again as simple as providing an email address and your name, however, it asks a few questions further to truly try and match someone with someone who may be perfect for them. It asks the user their date of birth to determine age, and some activities they may like to do. These actives include outdoor activities such as camping, hiking, and canoeing, to asking questions about whether or not the user likes to work out or not. Once all the questions are filled out, the user can choose to browse their computer for a picture to post on their profile, but it's not required to use the site. <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">(he said the paragraph was too long and start a new paragraph)

After all that is done, the account is activated and a profile is put up for others to see. Immediately, singles.net searches other profiles that seem to match the interests the user posted, and emails the potential matches to the user who signed up. They can then reply, or search other profiles that have interests that they are looking for in a significant other. They can email a little about themselves, or just send flirt messages, which can say anything from <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">“ I want to get to know you,<span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">” to <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">“ You're cute.<span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">” As on Craigslist, it becomes the user’s choice whether or not they decide to contact each other further. They could possibly exchange phone numbers or email addresses to get to know each other a little more. No matter which site someone decides to use to look for someone, there are always multiple risks they are taking.

At first online dating may seem like a cool, fun way to meet people you wouldn't originally meet "on-the-town". There are many <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">negatives involved with online dating. Some of these negatives involved would be finding people who misrepresent themselves, and the finances involved along with a few other negatives. A big negative involved with the world of online dating is having dishonest people. On online dating sites anyone can post just about anything about themselves. If it was desired, someone could create a whole new person on the internet. People misrepresent themselves by lying about their age. Most of the time people claim that they're younger than what they really are. Dating sites also allow individuals to upload pictures of themselves online. Not everybody, however, puts pictures of who they really are though.

Just look online and there are many online dating horror stories about people saying they are someone <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">they are not. For example, a man using match.com lured three women to his apartment and raped them, all on different accounts. He claimed that he was a doctor, and involved with the C.I.A (www.crime.about.com 1). Also, sometimes, when it comes to meeting a person, the other doesn't even show, or in one case, they got out of the vehicle, looked at the other from twenty yards away, and then left (www.sfgate.com 1). Online dating can be intimidating, however, one should just be oneself.

Another negative of online dating would be the money that is involved. Some sites may be free, however, usually the good, serious websites are not. The websites range from <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">free to fifty dollars a month. A popular website for online dating is eharmony.com. At this site, one who signs up gets a free "personality profile". However, if the individual wants more, and usually they do, they can subscribe for $19.95 for twelve months, during a "special period". Other than that it can cost approximately $50.00 according to consumersearch.com. However, during the special it would include receiving compatible matches, <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">sharing photos, and communication using their tools. So, at this site one really <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">does not get much. According to consumersearch.com, match.com got the best review overall. One can register for free and then subscribe to communicate with others through email. Comsumersearch.com says that for match.com it is about thirty-five dollars a month for six months. So, that would be $210.00 a year. That is also just for communication. The financial aspect of online dating can become expensive. The amounts really add up.

The most televised horror story is that of a 33 year old nursing student from Philadelphia. This man used match.com to present himself with several different idenities all which he was able to produce <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">ID's supporting which ever character he had decided to present that evening. He would arrange meetings with women in upscale bars and resturants. These women claimed he was a very nice and confident person. He was well dressed and presented himself as a real gentleman. One thing that these women were all able to recall is that they seemed to get abnormally intoxicated after returning from the bathroom or letting this man buy them a drink. One woman stated that she woke up and it was if she was <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">paralyzed, that her "body was there but <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">she could not see what was going on to it." Some accounted that they would wake up naked or during sex. This man was finally arrested and was charged with the rape of 8 Pennsylvania women. He is being held without bond.

Not all bad online dates end with such a horrific nightmare. In one case for example a woman agreed to meet with a man she had been exchanging emails with for some time at a <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">restaurant. <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">She stated that as soon as the man sat down, before the waitress even came over for drink orders, the man looked at her and said "Let's just get right to the point, what's wrong with you." Another online dater states he had been speaking with a female on the phone for about a month when they finally agreed to meet at a bar. Her picture and profile indicated a 5'7 125lb blonde, who loved the outdoors and biking. He was excited to meet her. He stated when she saw him and sat down she had long brown roots, and had to weigh atleast 300lbs. She told him that was a picture of her from a couple of years ago. There are so many stories like these latter ones. People misrepresenting themselves is the most common problem with online dating.

One individual gave some good advice to online daters. When arranging to meet someone you've met online either bring someone with you or always let someone know where you are going to be at all times and give a number you can be reached. There is always risk involved with dating. Woman have just as much risk involved of getting raped when meeting someone in a bar as they do meeting someone online. <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">(for this paragraph he said to put an ID for the person because it creates more credibility)

In the early 1990’s it <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">was not as common to have an internet presence as it is today. Melody, a native Texan was encouraged and teased by her friends until she finally relented and bought a computer. In her thirties and still single, she had tried to find companionship within the members at her church, and even though it was a good sized church, most of the singles were also women around the same age as Melody. She realized that she <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">was not going to meet anyone at the school where she taught seventh and eighth grades and so she decided to look online for friendship, she says to help, “speed up the process.” She met Mike from Pennsylvania in a Christian chat room on AOL and they chatted off and on for nearly two years. Melody had some friends in PA and when she mentioned to Mike that they ought to meet when she was up to visit; he said no, giving the excuse that he had to work. “That’s when I knew he was the real deal,” Melody says. “Most of the scary stories you hear, they want to meet right away. When he didn’t want to meet, I knew he was ok.” <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">(he said the paragraph was too long and start a new paragraph)

Finally when she was in the area again, he agreed to meet her. Soon after she moved to PA and they began to seriously date. Mike says, “She got a hold of my arm and never let go.” They married eight years ago, in September of 2000. For Melody, however, there seemed to be a stigma attached to the way she and Mike had met and she <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">would not initially tell anyone who would ask. She would brush off their inquiries but on the other hand she said, “Other than bar hopping, where do you meet people?” Today she is open about the way they were introduced. “It seems like the stigma is gone.”

Christine, a single woman in her mid-thirties, had been set up on dates by her friends with disastrous results. She tried meeting people in her young adults group at church but <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">was not having much luck. Then one day she saw an advertisement in the newspaper for a Christian friendship and dating service and she went online to check it out. She filled out the profile information but when she saw the cost, she changed her mind. However the service continued to contact her via email, each time lowering the price until finally she signed up. The service put her name and contact information on a list which was available to other Christian singles who had signed up for the service. <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">(he said the paragraph was too long and start a new paragraph)

Patrick was a new Christian and was looking for a companion who shared his faith. He spoke to a few women on the phone and even made plans to meet another, but she never showed up. Finally he called Christine and left a message on her machine. When she called him back, they talked for a while and then arranged to meet in a public place. “I had a backup plan,” she said. She made plans to deliver something to a friend of hers after her date with Patrick as a safety net in case she wanted to abandon the date. Her friend told her to use her as an excuse if she needed to get away. She told me to say, “Well, I have to go get this thing to my friend now.” Her friend even suggested if Christine <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">was really nervous, she could excuse herself to the bathroom and call her friend who would immediately come and get her. Fortunately, Christine and Patrick hit it off right away and ended up spending five hours together discussing their common interests. He was funny, and easy to talk to: “He made me laugh,” she said. <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">When she finally made her way to her friend’s house, her friend was, “genuinely worried.” (he said that his sentence doesn’t really flow, consider removing it) In May of 1999 they married and will soon celebrate ten years of happiness.

Meeting others of the <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">opposite sex is always a risk. Going online to expand your search to others you normally wouldn't meet locally is an up and coming thing in the world of technology. I work with a young woman<span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">, who in her early 20's didn't have very much success with relationships. After another failure she decided to go ahead and try this online dating. <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">She signed up with match.com due to the fact that it was running a special at the time. (he said since the first question address this information that it isn’t necessary for the paragraph) I conducted an interview with her and she agreed to allow me to post it for this paper. Interview #1 Q : What site did you use to set-up your profile? A : “ I used Match.com “ Q : What made you decide on that particular site? A : “ To tell you the truth they were having a special, half off the monthly rate for the first 6 months and if you found no one they would give you the next 6 months free. “ Q: So you never did any research on the site you were using, only that it cost less? A : “ No, I actually didn’t think about it. “ Q : What were you feeling as you were setting up your profile? A : “ That I wasn’t going to get any responses. I wasn’t nervous if that was what you were thinking. I didn’t see it any different than if I met someone at a club or something. Just this way I didn’t have to meet him unless I chose to do so.” Q : So have you met anyone worth while? A : (smiling) “ Yes, I did.” Q : Can you tell me about him? A : “ He is a police officer in Reading. We have been dating for about 6 months. It’s different meeting someone online, you get to know them in a different way. We just connected. We are talking about moving in together. My birthday is in Feburary and I think he is going to propose! He took me to look at rings and says he has a big surprise for my birthday." Q : Does it embarrass you at all to tell others where you to met? A : “ No, so many are doing this now people don’t think twice.”

So the young, freshman, female, college student found some friendships and met many people in her new environment of college. Trying online dating, she met many people, some good, and some horrible. However, through the world of online dating she met the love of her life, and she is incredibly happy that she tried it. So, even though there are some dishonest people, meeting potential dates online can be a lot of fun because it gives one access to people one would never meet in person and many couples have found long-term happiness. <span style="background: lime; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">It is a different and interesting way to meet people.